Wild hearts need telescope-kaleidoscopes

I make a literary podcast each month, with some funny and smart people. Part of the schtick between me and my co-host is that we answer questions related to each episode’s theme, debate-style. In the latest recording session (for our upcoming Study vs. Cheat episode) I was asked which three items I’d want in my ideal study. With reality being no object.

I said, in that case, I needed just one item: a telescope-kaleidoscope.

My persona on that podcast is a little sillier than the actual me, and it’s meant to juxtapose the gruffness of my co-host. But I would actually like a telescope-kaleidoscope. A device that is a telescope at night, a kaleidoscope by day. Right?

It’s because I like to drift. My mind works in waves; sometimes I’m so focused, it’s the equivalent of being in a deep dream state. Other times, I can’t latch in to any particular task or topic. In between, there’s a weird idea phase that works when I’m partially engaged and partially just floating.

It happens when I’m just waking up or just falling asleep, often. I’ll be 40 percent awake, inventing something to solve a problem. And by the time the alarm goes off, there it is. I’ve mocked-up apps, written treatments for a television series series, problem-solved soundproofing issues, framed out screenplays. Are they good? I usually write everything down in a rush on my phone when I wake up, convinced it’s a priceless idea, and then look at it after I’ve brushed my teeth and wonder what I was thinking.

Here’s what I woke up with most recently, with a vivid mental picture of the whole first quarter of the film:

James is a kid dating a beautiful but cruel girl (Katie) who is into ice skating, and one day at the rink he meets a girl who is less beautiful who just needs a partner for a particular exercise. (SARAH JESSICA PARKER). They hit it off and leave together, with Katie yelling at them, and the new girl is mad because she didn’t know Katie was with James to begin with. SJP loses her ID and can’t get on the train home, she walks home with James and stays the night, his mother feeds her soup, we see SJP start winning and James proves to be an awesome partner. Although of course obstacles ensue. Set in Buffalo or Philly, Rocky and Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken but on ice and no horse. The woman is a manic pixie dream girl, but it is her who needs the help. 

What obstacles ensue? Who knows, I woke up. Given the Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken reference, maybe she goes blind! Also, maybe we recast Sarah Jessica Parker.

A telescope-kaleidoscope would be the perfect little pause in my every day day-ness, maybe if I wrote these things while zoned-out but not half asleep, they’d solve world peace or something. Kickstarter, make it so.

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