Not always zen

This trip involves a lot of walking. Get from point A to point B. Find somewhere to feed yourself. Luckily I think best on my feet – my brain works at top capacity when I’m walking a quiet, unhurried path from somewhere to somewhere else.

So I’ve had time and space to think. And I realized something pretty basic: I ignore a lot of my own negative emotions. I don’t want to be the person who’s angry or afraid. I want to be the balanced one.

This works for a bit. Survival for the sensitive. It’s a quick fix. I’m famous for quick fixes. But those negative emotions don’t just vaporize. They hide. And then later, even years later, the raw emotion can bubble back up from my bones.

Turns out: If I can truly feel that emotion the first time, and acknowledge that it’s real, and take the time to study it, then I’m actually doing myself a favor.

3 thoughts on “Not always zen

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