1) The internet cafe’s six computers are all in use by a swarm of backpackers.
2) There is a shrieking mostly naked hippie child sitting on the floor of the internet cafe that makes you never want to have children, never ever.
3) You forgot to bring enough quetzales for the amount of minutes that are rapidly accruing, and there is no ATM in town.
4) The satellite that provides the internet to the town is not working.
5) You finally got on a computer but have the worst stomachache ever and can’t sit still more than five minutes.
6) All of the above.
Therefore! Though I’m in Taiwan, Guatemala updates are forthcoming.