Sometimes I think about reinventing, starting from scratch — remember freshman year of whatever, when you thought for a second that you could be anyone, ANYONE and no one would know different? I saw the NU kids for homecoming weekend and was struck by how we seemed like a filmstrip scrolled forward by accident. Nate and Liz are about to have a baby, which does not compute with my vivid but long-ago memory — them holding hands on the sidewalk in the humid sunset outside that concert. Adam and Mark and Eliina are people of The Law. They could get a person out of trouble. Or into it.

I remember being in charge of dorm New Student Week activities and knocking on each new freshman’s door to take a photo for the bulletin board. Mark leaned backwards off the top bunk and made a goofy face at the last second, like this would not be the photo where he made a normal smile-face because everything was different now and he was starting from scratch.

I’ve never been able to do it, starting from scratch would take too much energy. I like what I like. Arm warmers and other non-traditional outer layers. Seasonal foods and beverages. Learning new forms of transportation. Maybe some day.

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