Compass, still spinning

I’ve been thinking about those times in life when you feel like you are on a mission, when the pieces fall like dominoes and suddenly you’ve got yourself a path.

I used to have a mission. I graduated from college with a self-imposed mandate to work in nonprofits, help with all the nonsense that makes this world uninhabitable for so many people. But my mission now looks murky… many nonprofits are sinkholes of in-fighting. I’ve realized that my greatest joy here at The Neos has not been fighting The Man or even the art itself but in the details — smartypants banter with Ian, power brainstorming with Oriana, teamwork extravaganza with Jay.

It reminds me of my last favorite project ever, working on the school magazine in high school. Both of those places have felt like a home, full of creativity and silliness, where I’m in charge of some stuff. Sometimes frustrated, sometimes demoralized, but mostly just part of a misfit crew that makes things happen. So, what I like most is working with amazing people on creative things. There is no grad school that will give me a degree in this. There appears to be no next step, no beacon that promises progress.

For our last issue of the school magazine we photographed signs that said “Road Work Ahead”. I can still picture the grainy black-and-white photos, printed on the school photocopier. Dorky and obvious, in retrospect, but also… still true.

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