How to christen a new kitchen

Take two packages of tempeh — slice into strips and fry with barbecue sauce from a bottle, sliced onion and sliced sweet peppers. Serve in tortillas with Greek yogurt and cilantro, with corn on the cob on the side. Have dinner guest make mojitos for everyone. Dessert = mini-brownies and strawberries with Greek yogurt topped with brown sugar. Recipe is not complete until you add some sitting on the back porch.

Invite Caleb over and put him to work chopping tomatoes, spinach, cilantro. Fry cubes of tofu with half a jar of salsa. Add canned black beans. Fill tortillas with everything they can hold. Again, add back porch.

Stir-fry cubed tofu with broccoli. Cover in marinade from the Chinese market, leftover lime from the mojitos and lots of black pepper. Serve over rice when Kevin is too sick with a cold to eat anything. Eat whole thing yourself.

Take one package brownie mix. Add egg, oil and water. Realize you left brownie pan at old apartment. Substitute pie pan. Undercook by ten minutes. Eat with spoon.

Find leftover tortillas in fridge when it’s 11pm and you are starving. Fold one in half and fill with cheddar cheese, corn and canned black beans. Fry and cover in sour cream and salsa.

Wake up really late. Like really late. Watch Kevin create pancake mix from a box while your eyes are too bleary to really focus yet. Rummage around for a hoody, a tshirt, skirt and sandals. Stumble down the street toward Dunkin Donuts for coffee. Arrive home to find pancakes and veggie sausage and an omelette waiting for you. Eat immediately.

One thought on “How to christen a new kitchen

  1. This one is my favorite. I can see it in my head like you are on TV :

    Take one package brownie mix. Add egg, oil and water. Realize you left brownie pan at old apartment. Substitute pie pan. Undercook by ten minutes. Eat with spoon.

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