I don’t have Twitter. Furthermore, I don’t have a handheld advice device with which to Twitter when away from the computer. So here’s a backlog of status updates the old-fashioned way:
-Am standing in REI and completely confused by the bajillions of products that could probably take me to the Himalayas and back. I remember how my ninth grade global studies teacher used to say “Himalayas”.
-Am the proud owner of like $200 worth of lightweight airtight weatherproof elephant-repellant items. Plus a big floppy sun hat.
-Am in the Whole Foods remembering how rich people can afford to buy nicely stacked organic carrots.
-Am feeling a crazy panic rise in my chest over the thought of seven days in the wilderness.
-Am wondering why all the bathing suits at Target are string bikinis. Maybe a girl wants her top to stay on if she hits a wave.
-Am so hot. It’s so hot. Oh lord. This star we came from is melting any thought I have before it hits the pavement of my consciousness and if you could just turn it down a little, even a teensy bit, we could all get along.
-Am feeling the cold caffeine buzz of this Frappucino cycle through the heated coils of my existence. Am thinking too hard about all the floor cleaner that it’s perhaps made of.
-Am staring straight ahead wondering how the Buddhists do it and thinking of Janelle leaving for Taiwan, my sister wanting to study in Dublin, remembering how lost I got in Dublin, how I would love to get lost in Taiwan. Or Dublin. Or the woods.
-Am really hoping I don’t get lost in the woods. Though, you know, I’ll have a big floppy sun hat. Which is pretty cool.