I should not go to Starbucks
My thought process this afternoon…
Before ordering a Frappucino:
1) I have a headache and could fall asleep right now and am too warm to think clearly.
2) What’s cold and full of caffeine?
3) Why, a Starbucks Frappucino. The masses love them. Plus there are many calories in there, so I won’t have to worry about missing lunch.
During the ordering process:
1) Somehow ordering one drink requires twelve syllables, which I am managing to inexplicably flub.
2) I will cover my errors and let the barista know that I am not the Frappucino-ordering type by slipping in a sly, “Oh, ha ha, I so rarely get one of these…”
1) I hate myself. Starving children could have used that $5.
2) I hate myself. I am like everyone else.
3) I hate myself. Why do I care if I am original or not?
4) I hate myself. I am so unoriginal.
5) This is so tasty.
6) Brain freeze.
7) Large doses of caffeine and sugar make me angry at the world, including bad drivers and middle-aged women tottering along on bicycles with baskets.
8) I see now how people manuever through the world with aggression and purpose. They’re just a little bit angry. Is this good or bad? Perhaps I would get more done and be less put-upon if I were a little more angry at everyone.
9) Nauseous, too much caffeine and sugar.
10) I have a headache and could fall asleep right now and am too warm to think clearly.