To Eliina, because she missed seeing JSF at a reading, but I caught the last half hour of it, just so she knows she didn’t miss anything big

I just saw Jonathan Safran Foer give a reading and a talk. Man, it was great. It was so great. He mumbled on and on about life, love, theory of modern day existential dilemmas, why people become writers, cats, cat food, dogs, dog food, beer, plants, his favorite color, cheese, rainbows, puppies, puppy food, and more. Because of seeing him, I am truly a changed individual. I used to think writing was crap. Now I understand that any schmuck who can wax philosophical about Band-Aids can also be a writer. I’m so qualified! It’s unfortunate that you didn’t attend the reading because you too might have become a changed individual, quit law school and rushed off to become Jewish and start writing. That’s what I’m planning on doing.

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