First week down at the new school. Kids are chaotic, but I am happier. There is a ray of sunshine, a ray of hope.The school’s really supportive and … well…. it’s like I can start again, except slightly less stupid. So I still get the “new person” slack of effing a lot of things up, but…. I’ve already done it once, so my eff-ups are slightly less disastrous. Sweet…

My old school let ANOTHER teacher go today. She was much better than I, also TFA, also totally undeserving of this treatment in each and every way.

Spent the evening carving pumpkins with TFA folk, drinking spiked cider and hot chocolate, and playing charades.

And…. we’re employed again

I was hired today at another school on the South Side; this one has only 450 students, collaboration time built in to the work week, block scheduling, a copy machine for teacher use, money from Bill & Melinda Gates…. yes, it is looking up.

I was let go from my job on Friday due to budget issues…. yup.

Friday was October 14th. Last year on this day, I wrote the following in my journal:

“Coffee with [one of my old professors] was really awesome. He made me think about how this is really a long haul, starting over, and that’s okay. Things zig-zag a lot. I think I really want to teach next year. I think (now) that I’d be a good teacher. I will apply.”

actual dialogue with an actual student

“i was coughing.”

“oh really.”

“when i cough, words come out.”

ahead by a quarter-century

i moved here a year ago this week. a year ago this week, i was frantically packing, driving, mislabeling boxes, effing up a few travel details, meeting with my sister in new york, and then home to buffalo, and then on an overnight train to chicago. i didn’t know what i would be in for. i didn’t know that what awaited me would open me up again, patch up the holes, give my soul some bread, root me in a waters-run-deep and sun-shines-sweet city that takes my heart every day. even on the south side, where the kids roll their eyes at me, challenge me at every bend, fight me and fight me and try to crack me, but i’m not cracked yet. i was thinking about giving up the ghost this week, thinking it’s not worth it. i’m more fixing to stay now. i see it. i see a glimmer again. and i see that i want to stop complaining and start celebrating as much as i can for the little things.