oh no you didn’t…

Yeah, so, some knife was found in our classroom. Yeah, I thought to myself, weird, you know, these kids, like, haven’t seen much violence from them (none at all, actually, just random references to fights they’ve been in, but fist fights, not knife fights) so the rumor of the found knife swept with a hushed whisper through our classroom… “Why would someone bring a knife to school?” the kids asked, my good sweet kids, they know the rules, they are angels underneath their paper-ball-chucking ways though they write their names with graffiti-tag-style letters on their nametags; then i heard my name: “Ms. Muscato? Did you bring a knife to school for the peanut butter and jelly demonstration?” I rewound in my head to the lesson where i’d incorrectly put together a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to demonstrate the importance of having things in the proper order, a la a well-structured paragraph. Yes, yes I did. And yes, yes I left it in the classroom. Cleaned it off, put the peanut butter in my bag, and left the knife on the bookshelf in the back. A butter knife. From the Cal State cafeteria. I’m a badass. Who knew. I didn’t get fired, I just went over to talk to our advising teacher, who told me that if it had been a child he could have been kicked out of school. I didn’t feel embarassed or anything (a kid later asked, “Weren’t you embarassed?” No, I wasn’t… because it was an honest mistake, and i was trying to teach them about paragraphs, and you know what? a butter knife should not be picked up and brandished ANYWAY, because if that’s true, anything can be a weapon, and if some kid is going to impale his classmate on the wire from his spiral notebook, then we have bigger problems. the same day, walter c. wrote my name in graffiti-tag letters for me, so now i’m officially on the fringe of urban culture today.

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