what if you were a disorganized, semi-incompentent freak at teaching (DS-IFAT)? what would that look like? welllll…. let’s just pretend. this is totally pretend. this did not actually happen. totally fiction. (we did a venn diagram today of fact versus fiction… it was supposed to take half an hour, but they quickly got the point when, uh, the distinction could be boiled down to: Real. Fake.)

ok, so if you were DS-IFAT, in fiction-world, you might:

1) YOU SEEM NORMAL WHEN YOU: have students pick from four pre-approved research topics when doing final history reports. BUT IT’S CLEAR YOU ARE A DS-IFAT WHEN YOU: miscommunicate with your co-teacher about how much freedom students will have in brainstorming their topics for their final projects. students might accidentally be allowed to brainstorm any topics they want and then vote on four to select from as a class. topics might then be: The Jurassic Period. The Ice Age. World War II. The Battle of Troy. (Yes, The Battle of Troy. Extremely factual.)

2) YOU SEEM NORMAL WHEN YOU: attempt to help students find actual information about their topics by pre-researching yourself on the internet when you have a million other things to do — most notably, sleep. BUT IT’S CLEAR YOU ARE A DS-IFAT WHEN YOU: are incapable of finding child-friendly web sites with basic info about said periods, and end up spending four waking hours searching google with pleas like “how to teach kids about basic ice age.”

2) YOU SEEM NORMAL WHEN YOU: have lots of handouts and overheads for students. IT’S CLEAR YOU ARE A DS-IFAT WHEN YOU: throw said handouts into a pile so that when you begin to teach, you have no idea when to hand out what, and your overheads start flying all over the place, and they’re _clear_ which doesn’t help matters.

3) YOU SEEM NORMAL WHEN YOU: start writing a blog entry about your day. IT’S CLEAR YOU ARE A DS-IFAT WHEN YOU: realize you are so tired you used the number 2 twice in your list and just realized it now. yes. i can teach small children. yes.

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