on break-ups:
Me: I think I’m going through withdrawal. I think I’m going to become a smoker.
My roommate Sarah: Why?
Me: Because that would give me something new to be addicted to.
Sarah: Why don’t you just take up smoking crack? That’s like starting a whole obsession… where you’re going to get it… how you’re going to pay for it… before you know it, you’ll forget all about everything else.