on break-ups:

Me: I think I’m going through withdrawal. I think I’m going to become a smoker.

My roommate Sarah: Why?

Me: Because that would give me something new to be addicted to.

Sarah: Why don’t you just take up smoking crack? That’s like starting a whole obsession… where you’re going to get it… how you’re going to pay for it… before you know it, you’ll forget all about everything else.

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