October 30, 2002 at 3:31 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

things i have learned about small children

– If you hold out your hand, many children will reflexively take it and let you lead them somewhere, no questions asked. This is disturbing, but useful.

– Children are like runaway tractor trailers when they’re off task. They gather huge amounts of momentum, and it takes a huge amount of effort to get them to reverse their course. Ex.: To make a child who is running to the front of the room go back to her table, you must speak to her using an amount of enthusiasm equal to or greater than the energy she is using to run. You must will her to go back to her table with every fiber of your being.

– Giving them a small pile of crayons or a packet of fruit snacks brings them into a state of bliss.

– People with short legs move faster than people with long legs. This is counter-intuitive.

– Games like Simon Says are really just ploys to keep children focused on you so they don’t run away.

– Watching a 4-year old girl dance like Britney Spears is one of the scariest things I have ever seen.

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